Monday, December 18, 2006

the last 30 days

the last 30 days have been a roller coaster.

one year ago today a friend committed suicide
my dad had a scary accident last week

being the executor of Carolyn's will (who died a little over five months ago)has me doing more stuff this week that I didnt' plan on
and then all these memories flooding in
remembering how she'd shower the Es with gifts each year
going into a funky little boutique and catching myself thinking how much she'd like something that I'd see

There's nothing like paying for your friend's tombstone the week before Christmas.

and other things like
figuring out what love is (and being so undeniably happy that I couldn't believe it was real)
and what its not as Paul has been the topic of my latest blogs

I feel like I'm off kilter. way off.

and it hasn't been an easy year as death, sickness and heartache seems to have been the overriding themes this year (Someone said to me last week...can anything else go wrong for you this year?)


while I can't control what happens, I can control how I react.
and while I don't always react the best under such formidable circumstances....especially in retrospect
I have this undeniable hope
this outlook for the better

That life will bring joy
and love will always win

So for those close to me.
be patient with me
please please.


Blogger japaneriffic said...

Hey stranger, sorry to see that you've been down in the dumps with various badness to be had, but I thought I'd drop a line and give you a big hello hug from me and Erin in Japan. Keep your head up, and trust in the belief that love prevails all... at least that's what I prescribe to, which is good medicine for any ailing heart or soul. Please e-mail me or visit my blog if you have some free time. Mata ne (See ya later)

9:32 AM  
Blogger re:becca said...

big hugs back! miss you guys! Flying out to Cali on Friday. Can't wait!

9:52 AM  

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