stoned thoughts

for those who don't know what's going on with me
i'm pretty sick
so i'm fly9ng high on these meds tonight

the night before last
i almost called 9-1-1
cuz i couldn't breathe (damn asthma. i swear in my next life, I'm gonna have lungs of gold!)

its the first time i've been truly scared

during that time
i swore I blacked out
and people significant to me
flashed before my eyes

all the things I wish I would've said to them
how much they mean to me
everything i never had the courage to say
face to face
eye to eye
hand in hand

as a writer i'm good with words
good with writing
but that's where I fall short
i can't verbalize how I feel very well
i get embarrassed
shy
whatever we call it
inept?

anyhow
in this "stoned" moment
high on too many drugs too count right now
all prescribed by my doctor
i'm confessing
my inadequecies

mmmm
maybe its a resolution
or maybe you know me well enough
to know who I am talking to

in any case
and in my randomness tonight
i hope those that know
who maybe I mean something to
can do a better job
at this whole
face to face
eye to eye
thing

cuz you know I suck at it

because as I blacked out
and all these thoughts came rushing to my head
i realized
how short life is
and how quickly it can end








damn. I'm such a sap.