Wednesday, January 10, 2007

stoned thoughts

for those who don't know what's going on with me
i'm pretty sick
so i'm fly9ng high on these meds tonight

the night before last
i almost called 9-1-1
cuz i couldn't breathe (damn asthma. i swear in my next life, I'm gonna have lungs of gold!)

its the first time i've been truly scared

during that time
i swore I blacked out
and people significant to me
flashed before my eyes

all the things I wish I would've said to them
how much they mean to me
everything i never had the courage to say
face to face
eye to eye
hand in hand

as a writer i'm good with words
good with writing
but that's where I fall short
i can't verbalize how I feel very well
i get embarrassed
whatever we call it

in this "stoned" moment
high on too many drugs too count right now
all prescribed by my doctor
i'm confessing
my inadequecies

maybe its a resolution
or maybe you know me well enough
to know who I am talking to

in any case
and in my randomness tonight
i hope those that know
who maybe I mean something to
can do a better job
at this whole
face to face
eye to eye

cuz you know I suck at it

because as I blacked out
and all these thoughts came rushing to my head
i realized
how short life is
and how quickly it can end

damn. I'm such a sap.


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